Category: spirituality
A Sneak Peek, Mystical Force Vol. 6: The Enemy Within

A Sneak Peek, Mystical Force Vol. 6: The Enemy Within

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Satisfied that more innocent lives had been saved, Shi-ria took Chiyoko back with her to Mystic’s home in Aryavarta. Given Chiyoko’s volatile emotional state, Shi-ria felt it was best to bring her back to Mystic to help her deal with these feelings. Using a simple magic ring that Mystic gave her, Shi-ria teleported herself and Chiyoko back to Mystic’s home in Aryavarta. While it was already after midnight in Teikoku City, sunset was only an hour ago in Aryavarta. Thus, both Shi-ria and Chiyoko returned just as the last orange haze of the evening twilight began fading into the western skies over the mountains in the distance. Shi-ria felt a sense of serenity as she watched the colours fade from the evening sky. Unfortunately, she also felt something else: the opposite of serenity coming from Chiyoko. She was still reeling from the earlier battle. Shi-ria could sense her inner turmoil.

“Chiyoko…” she began. She was about to suggest they talk to Mystic to help her calm herself down and focus her mind and emotions, but Chiyoko was too angry to listen.

“I should have never made that promise to you!” Chiyoko abruptly cut her off. “It was a mistake for me not to use the power of the Koldar!”

Shi-ria calmly gazed into Chiyoko’s eyes, “No, it wasn’t.”

“I could have ended things right then and there!” Chiyoko snapped.

“We did put an end to their criminal operation,” Shi-ria reminded her apprentice. “We stopped those criminals. They’re now in police custody, and the girls have been rescued. Is that not sufficient?”

“Do you really think they’ve learned their lesson?” Chiyoko asked, growing angrier. “What’s to stop them from doing the same thing again once they get out of prison?”

“That won’t be for a very long time,” Shi-ria pointed out.

“But it still could happen!” Chiyoko protested. “If I had used my powers to disintegrate them, they’d never be able to hurt anyone again!”

“However, you would gain the power to hurt people,” Shi-ria countered, “and you would hurt them again and again. Don’t you see, Chiyoko? It’s not about those criminals; it’s about you. If you take the quick and easy path and continue to surrender to fear and anger, you’ll end up a Koldar Warrior. Just like in that possible future I foresaw. The future Scarlet Knightwalker is so desperate to prevent. Remember what I told you about the Koldar Warriors? If you follow their path, you’ll be no different and no better than those criminals we’ve just defeated. You won’t care about helping others. All that will matter to you is using your power for your own selfish gain. You’ll end up hurting the very people you claim to care about. Remember what you accidentally did to Shinjo? What if next time, it’s not an accident? What if next time, you do it on purpose?”

Chiyoko just stood there, silently fuming. “YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS OF ME!” Chiyoko hollered, no longer holding back all her pent-up fury. “YOU’RE HOLDING ME BACK BECAUSE YOU’RE AFRAID THAT I MIGHT SURPASS YOU ONE DAY! THAT’S YOUR PROBLEM. YOU DON’T WANT ME TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM BECAUSE I FIGURED OUT A SOLUTION YOU DIDN’T!” As Chiyoko continued her enraged verbal assault, she also began an unintentional physical, psychic assault on Shi-ria as well. Although Chiyoko wasn’t consciously aware of it, she was once again tapping into the dark energy of the Koldar, just like she had done with Dead-Eye earlier. Chiyoko, in her fury, imagined unleashing the same power on Shiria. Chiyoko imagined herself using that same power to break down every cell, every molecule, every atom in Shi-ria’s body. In her rage, Chiyoko imagined tearing Shi-ria apart cell by cell, atom by atom. The difference was that Shi-ria had the power to prevent this. This was one of the first abilities that the Taman Knight learned when they began as an apprentice: how to use their powers to block others, like a Koldar Warrior or a dark mage, from using their powers on them. Shi-ria never forgot how to use that power. However, in this instance, she chose not to use it. Thus, even as Shi-ria could feel Chiyoko’s raw, unchecked power assaulting her cellular structure, and even as the Taman set off alarms inside her, Shi-ria offered no resistance. Shi-ria gritted her teeth and groaned, doubling over in pain. Yet, despite the agony she felt inside of her, she still offered no resistance. Collapsing on the floor, Shi-ria mustered what strength she had and lifted her head. Gazing up into Chiyoko’s eyes, she saw a burning fire of rage, anger, and hatred, but she also saw something else emerging: fear and horror. It suddenly dawned on Chiyoko what she was doing.

Chiyoko, in turn, saw her teacher, the very woman who saved her life, who offered her the chance for something better than the life of a petty criminal, slowly and painfully wasting away right before her eyes. Suddenly, the burning fury she felt within her was quickly snuffed out and replaced with the icy hand of fear and shame over what she was doing. She was responsible for Shi-ria being in the vulnerable state she was in right now. It was just as Shi-ria had predicted; Chiyoko was using her new-found powers to get revenge against someone she believed had wronged her, and for that brief, terrifying moment, she didn’t care how her actions hurt the woman trying to save her life. Fortunately for Chiyoko, this shocking revelation freed her from the dark, seductive grasp of the power of the Koldar. No longer drawing on its dark power to lash out against Shi-ria, Chiyoko gasped in horror as her mentor collapsed unconscious on the floor.

“SHI-RIA!” Chiyoko shouted. Terrified by what she had done, she dropped to her knees and cradled Shi-ria in her arms. Overcome by shame and guilt of her actions, Chiyoko held Shiria close while silently weeping. “I’m sorry!” she whispered. “Please, don’t die!”

Mystic and Noonien rushed into the room, having sensed what happened. They looked at each other and communicated telepathically. Using his magic, Noonien gently lifted Shi-ria up and levitated her onto her bed. Meanwhile, Mystic kneeled next to Chiyoko. Sensing her thoughts, the turmoil of emotions swirling around inside her, she gently took hold of Chiyoko. Chiyoko, in turn, buried her face in Mystic’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry!” she sobbed. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean it!”

Mystic gently hugged her, placing her hand on the back of Chiyoko’s head. She sent waves of calm, soothing energy into Chiyoko’s mind using her telepathy. It’s alright, Mystical mentally told her. Shi-ria will be alright.

Mystical Force Vol. 6: The Enemy Within. Coming soon…

Total Eclipse of the Soul

Total Eclipse of the Soul

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I’ve seen videos and read blog posts about the spiritual significance of a solar eclipse. And this eclipse that happened back on April 8th did indeed provide some insight into my own spiritual journey, in ways I had never imagined. In a way, the incidents of April 8th forced me to look at my own darkness eclipsing my inner light and casting a shadow over my soul. I had been looking forward for years now to seeing a total solar eclipse in person. And was worried when the forecast for Southern Ontario called for overcast. I had been divided on whether or not to head down to South Central Ontario (Niagara Falls or Port Dover) or out to Eastern Ontario (both of which were in the path of totality). I chose Eastern Ontario because first it was closer to my home and I was hoping that since I’d be driving home in rush hour I’d face less traffic since I’d be heading back into the city, rather than coming home from Niagara Falls and driving through Toronto in rush hour. Second, I wanted to avoid Niagara Falls because I knew it would be swarming with visitors coming to see the eclipse and I’ve never been comfortable in large crowds. Needless to say, I was disappointed to find the overcast prevented me from seeing the eclipse (and to rub salt in the wounds, learning upon getting home that evening that the clouds cleared slightly at Niagara Falls thus I probably would have seen it had I gone there instead). Third, the day of the eclipse was my mother’s birthday and we decided to go to a bar called “Jake’s on Main” (Main St. Unionville) and I figured I’d never make it back on time had I gone to Niagara Falls. After dinner there was discussion on who got the bill for the restaurant. I admit that I was slightly annoyed at being asked to help pay for dinner, considering I had just paid off my credit card debts and am in the process of rebuilding my bank account, thus have been trying to watch my finances/expenses. Fourth, upon getting home, I had some messages on my Social media pages about paying others to help boost my number of followers and get more reviews. I admit I wasn’t feeling particularly sociable, thus it was hard to respond to my messages when all I was really thinking was “Stop bothering me and leave me alone! I’m not in the mood for idle chit chat!”

As I was lying in bed meditating, trying to deal with my turbulent emotions and epiphany hit me, it was all about ego. I was blaming others for my feeling cheated out of seeing the eclipse. My angels for not guiding me to the right location, my brother for not suggesting we go to Niagara Falls or Hamilton instead of out East (though I probably wouldn’t have listened even if he had), my family for making me rush home to join them for dinner. God/nature for the cloudy weather spoiling the view. The people on social media asking me for money to help promote my work and so on. I realized that was simply an excuse to justify my feelings. Conversations with God has often said to live life without expectations is true freedom, yet giving up expectations about my life and my literary career is something I still haven’t mastered. I now understand the first two noble truths of the Buddha:

  1. In existence there is suffering
  2. The cause of suffering is selfish desire

My desire to see the eclipse on my own, and make it back in time to join my family for dinner (as they say, I wanted to have my cake and eat it too), my desire for my books to be best sellers and get plenty of reviews, my fears about my finances and refusal to spend my money (or my being a cheapskate I guess would be more accurate) have been my selfish desires, which in turn caused my suffering for the day. In addition to that, this blog is ironically the same thing while simultaneously being therapeutic. My ego driven fear of being judged by others upon reading this is another selfish desire. After all fear of the judgment of others is ego driven; imagining others looking down upon me for my behaviour and my ego making up excuses to try and justify it (if only to myself). This in turn also contributed to what caused my suffering for the day.

“I still have a long way to go, but I’m already so far from where I used to be, and I’m proud of that.” ~Unknown (quote posted on “tinybuddha.com”)

I admit, I’ve still got along way to go in terms of spiritual growth. In fact I had forgotten about a post I read online https://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-mistakes-people-make-spiritual-journey/ particularly the part about “Thinking I am above those who are ‘unenlightened’”. I admit, I still tend to think of myself as “more enlightened” than most people. I’ve come to realize today that despite how much I’ve grown as a spiritual being and how far I’ve come from the man I was even just 10 years ago, I still have so far to go. As someone once said, “Those who think themselves wise are usually foolish. Those who admit to being foolish are on the path to wisdom.” I know nothing. The solar eclipse of April 8th 2024 was indeed a significant spiritual moment in my life, in ways I had not expected. As the fifth mistake from the “tinybuddha.com” blog says, “I used to believe that if I were spiritually awakened, no bad things would ever happen to me again. I would never feel sad, only be surrounded by nice people, and from there on life would always feel positive. I could not be more wrong. Spirituality is not about suppressing or diminishing your dark side. Spirituality is about raising your mindfulness to a level where you can always make the conscious choice to do the right thing, in spite of what happens and what you’re feeling.”

Both Conversations with God and Friendship with God says that when things are not serving you, you should bless them and let them go. The “bless them” part is something I’m still having trouble working on. Yet these things that I can’t bless, that I still may curse/blame have indeed served me by teaching me valuable lessons. Or as Conversations would say, they have served me by reminding me that we all are beings of pure light and love since we’re not hear to learn anything but to remember who we truly are. May this blog post help you in the same way with whatever may have triggered you in life in a similar manner. By reminding you of this, I am in turn helping to remind myself. For as Friendship says, the best way to help yourself is by helping others. If you wish to feel joy, bring joy to others. If you wish to remind yourself to let go of ego and bless even those events that you may have cursed before, help others do the same. They say “God helps those who help themselves” and since we are all one with God by helping others we help ourselves.

Also, upon further reflection, had I gone to Niagara Falls or Port Dover, I probably would have seen the eclipse and thus wouldn’t have felt the way I did and missed out on some very important spiritual growth that day. Also upon waking up the following morning I felt strange, slightly uncomfortable. I remember reading somewhere that feelings of comfort come from the ego, from recognizing familiarity. When you experience something familiar, it provides comfort because we remember it feels good. When we experience something new, we have no memories to draw upon for reference. Thus we feel uncomfortable because we’re truly facing the unknown. Yet as Conversations again stated, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

In closing I would like to add that I now realize that missing out on witnessing the eclipse was actually a blessing in disguise. While seeing the beauty of totality would have been awesome and given me some pleasant memories, the spiritual growth I gained from missing out will prove much more helpful in my ultimate spiritual evolution. Namaste!

Feelings are the language of the soul

Feelings are the language of the soul

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Yesterday I used the money from my mutual funds to pay off my credit card bills in full. I had around $6000 in credit card debt. Naturally as a result, when I looked at my monthly budget I had a deficit. After this the usual fears came back about “How can I continue my writing?” “Will I be forced to give up my dreams? Stop publishing Mystical Force and Liberator: The People’s Guard simply because I can’t afford it?” As always whenever these problems arise, I turn to my angels for guidance and to release my fears. As I was lying on my bed meditating, I felt something strange. It almost felt like a presence in my room (even though no one else was there), though even this isn’t entirely accurate. I apologize for not being able to describe it better, the truth is I honestly don’t know how to describe what I felt. I suppose it’s like trying to describe what a near death experience feels like. Try to explain it to someone who’s never had one, and they probably won’t be able to understand because they have no frame of reference to compare it to. And if you have had one, then you already know what it’s like so no explanation is necessary.

Having recently read “Godtalk” by Neale Donald Walsch, it mentioned his words from his first book “Conversations with God”, which stated that God speaks to us through feelings because “feelings are the language of the soul”. After I was finished and I went down to the kitchen to get a bite to eat, I began recalling the stories contributed by various people in “Godtalk” about their own experiences/encounters with God, their angels or whatever divine/higher power you believe in. I didn’t so much recall a specific story from the book, it was more an overall impression of the various stories combined. Stories of people who had traumatic experiences in their lives (going through cancer, losing a loved one to some illness and so on) and it dawned on me. These people have gone through much worse than I have. I’ve never had cancer (and I hope to keep it that way). I’ve never been in such dire financial straights that I’ve been forced to live homeless on the street, begging for food or even just enough money to buy some fries at McDonalds and have that be my meal for the day. While I have lost loved ones in my life (pets, my grandparents, a cousin younger than me) even those have never left me so distraught that I began to lose faith or think God turned his back on me. And yet, despite such traumatic experiences that befell others, things turned around for them.

As this dawned on me, I realized that my problems were nothing compared to what happen to some of the people in “Godtalk”. It put things into perspective and made me realize that my fears and concerns were for nothing. My angel numbers (according to the website I often visit: Sacred Scribes) have often told me that I’m manifesting material rewards of following my soul mission – my writing, as I one did a hypnotherapy session, and asked my angels “Why am I here?” (as in why did I choose this specific life right now). A voice in my head answered, “To create”. Which is what I’m doing through my writing. The truth is I’ve been very fortunate in my life: I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food in my refrigerator, and I do have a full time warehouse job that allows me to pay room and board to my parents (yes I still live with them since I can’t afford a place of my own, though honestly that whole the kids move out when they turn 18 is more of a North American thing, my parents raised me more European, where it’s not uncommon for multiple generations to still live under the same roof).

The truth is I AM quite blessed in my life and I AM grateful for these things. Once I realized that I suddenly felt much better. My worries were gone, and I felt happier than I’ve felt in the past few days, possibly past few weeks. This just further proves what was said in “Conversations with God”, how God speaks to us through our feelings, which are the language of the soul. Having just read “Godtalk” I’ve begun meditating in silence, no music, no sounds, just lying in my room with only the ambient noise, trying to empty my mind and focus either on my breathing or the black void I see when I close my eyelids. As Neale said in “Godtalk” God speaks to us in the silence between our thoughts. To paraphrase Qui-Gon Jinn’s words to Anakin in Phantom Menace “When you learn to quite your mind, you’ll hear [God] speaking to you.”

It’s better to give than to receive

It’s better to give than to receive

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The other day I was on Facebook when I got a notification that someone liked a video I reposted a while back. It was an interview with Neale Donald Walsh author of “Conversations with God”. Honestly I had completely forgotten about it until I clicked on the link and rewatched the video. What struck me was the part where Neale told of how God spoke to him about thinking about your universal or cosmic self. Basically, the point was to think of yourself by thinking of others. If you want to feel joy in your life, bring joy into the lives of others. If you want to stop feeling depressed or angry, help others out of their depression/anger. Too often in life, we approach things with the attitude of “What can I get out of this?” Rather than “What do I have to give?” I admit as an author I’ve often fallen into this trap. “What can I do to get more reviews? How can I boost sales and make more money off of my work? How do I get more followers on social media?” The problem with this mentality it you’re coming from a mindset of lacking. What you’re really saying is “I don’t have enough sales! I’m not making enough money!” As the law of attraction states, when this is your sponsoring thought, God/the universe (whatever higher power you believe in) responds, “Yes, this is true,” and thus sends you more feelings of lacking, of not having enough. As I’ve often said, the problem with this is that it becomes easy for greed to set in. Eventually, it doesn’t matter how many sales you’ve made, or how many followers you have, it’s always “NEVER ENOUGH!” The key is to not concern yourself with sales, or followers. I’ve learned this the hard way (and still am). When I began posting videos on Tik Tok and YouTube I checked my analytics and found most people stopped watching after 30 seconds. I’ve looked up various things on how to create more engaging videos, how to get more followers and so on. I realized that most of what they were suggesting, such as following the latest trends in videos wasn’t something I was interested in. Much like my writing, I could just forego crafting an interesting narrative and simply churn out some piece of fluff based on the latest fad du jour, but that’s not who I am. I read an article a while back about people (like myself) who are “old souls”(here’s the link to the article in case you’re interested) and one of the things it said was that “You’d rather talk about dreams, ideas, or even the meaning of life instead of what’s trendy right now. For an old soul, deep conversations are like a breath of fresh air. They help you connect with people on a real level…But it might also make some people think you’re too serious or hard to talk to… it could also scare some folks away if they’re not ready to dive in so deep.”

I acknowledge this, as it would explain the lack of engagement I’ve gotten, also why I don’t blog or post online as much as others. I’m the type of guy who’d rather wait until I find something meaningful to say rather than simply post/blog away about nothing simply for likes, clicks and follows. It might gain me more followers but the person they’d be following wouldn’t be the real me. I’d be forcing myself to live a lie. Anyway, that’s all I’ve got to say for the moment, plus I needed to fill my monthly blog quota (I don’t actually have a quota, I try to post something at least once a month but as I said above, I don’t post just for the sake of posting). Either way I…. honestly can’t think of anything more to say, or how to end this post, so I’ll just end with…

Namaste!

Life thoughts at an approaching birthday

Life thoughts at an approaching birthday

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This Monday, Oct. 19th is my 38th birthday, so I thought I take this opportunity to reflect on my life so far. I’ve always had a gift for creative writing and imagination ever since I was a child. Like many boys growing up in the 80’s and 90’s I had various action figures. From Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, to Power Rangers, to various DC and Marvel characters (just to name a few), whom I’d bring together to fight and/or stop whatever villain I’d pick at random from committing whatever villainous scheme I’d come up with at the moment. I also had various Godzilla action figures which I’d make fight various dinosaur toys as well as destroy my Lego cities. I even had Star Wars and Star Trek starship toys which I’d make have various space battles. Little did I realize that these simple acts of childhood play would pave the way for my writing.

As I grew from child to adult, most of those old heroes and adventure stories gradually morphed into my fiction universe of which Mystical Force is but a part of (you didn’t think Mystical Force was the only series I created did you?) Thus I spent many years planning out various series, characters, story arcs and building a whole constructed universe for myself. I suppose it was in part a means for me to escape reality. I was never the popular kid is school as was often the target of bullying. I remember coming home from school upset by this, only for my mother to tell me “That’s life get used to it!” Thus teaching me that people are like the common cold, you try to avoid them but you can’t so you deal with them as best as you can in the hopes that sooner or later they’ll go away. I guess that’s why I had such an active imagination even to this day, it was better than the real world and real people.

The reason it took me so long to actually get off my butt and actually publish my work was simply fear. Fear of rejection, fear of being the object of scorn and hatred by those who were offended by my work. Let’s be honest here, in today’s age we’ve become so politicized, so divided, so overly sensitive, so intolerant and quick to judge that anytime someone says or does something that might possibly be even slightly offensive, we’re quick to turn online to complain and demand its cancellation. As I mention in Volume 2 of Mystical Force (which I’m currently working on) We claim to value freedom of speech, yet whenever someone says something we don’t agree with, we’re only to quick to try to silence said individual for the crime of expressing an opinion we don’t agree with.

It was this fear that held me back for many years, making me keep my opinions and ideas to myself, in the hope that I would be left alone. For many years I held firm to this mentality which eventually led to depression and anger. It was during this time that I turned to meditation to help try and calm myself and learn to let go of negative thoughts and feelings (and I’ve made much progress in this, though I still have a long way to go). I was also during this time that I read a book my father bought called Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch (which is a great book to read, if you haven’t already read it, I strongly recommend it). God, through this book, mentions that life begins outside your comfort zone and that the purpose we’re here, alive on this earth, is to create and experience our own reality. God also mentions that nothing happens by coincidence. After realizing this, it reaffirmed to me what I often thought, that writing Mystical Force was my “soul mission”, the reason I came into existence. It also happened to coincide with various real world events that have transpired around the same time: the killing of George Floyd and Black Lives Matter protests, Trump’s politicizing and diving of America as well as the rest of the world (indirectly) and the Coronavirus pandemic (which people have also been politicizing). One could even make the argument that “everything fell into place” and that the timing was just right for my book to come out.

Please don’t misinterpret my meaning, I’m not trying to imply that the above mentioned events were a good thing, or that they happened just for my benefit, I’m simply saying that the themes of prejudice, intolerance, self-righteousness (not simply limited to religion) which are explored in my book have become more prevalent in the past few years. While such problems have existed since the dawn of humanity, it’s only recently that they seemed to have reached a boiling point in our society. I didn’t write this book to specifically reference these events, or to capitalize on them just because I thought it would help sell my book. I had begun writing it and Tellwell was in the process of publishing it when the above mentioned events happened, thus making my book’s message all the more poignant.

If you take anything away from this, it’s as mentioned above, “life begins at the end of your comfort zone” and “don’t let fear hold you back”! Because as Conversations with God points out, there is no devil and hell is a concept we create ourselves. As Buddhism also mentions, our thoughts determine our reality. So if you give into fear, anger and negativity, you’re already living in a hell of your creation. I’ve spent many years living in a hell of my own creation, I’ve finally had enough and decided to create my own heaven. I urge all of you to live your dreams, to do what makes you happy and not let fear hold you back. Ask yourself this question:

“What do I have to gain by giving in to fear?”

For as Conversations with God states:

“All human actions are motivated at their deepest level by two emotions–fear or love. In truth there are only two emotions–only two words in the language of the soul…. Fear wraps our bodies in clothing, love allows us to stand naked…. Fear holds close, love holds dear. Fear grasps, love lets go. Fear rankles, love soothes. Fear attacks, love amends.”

I’ve spent enough of my life giving into fear, I choose now to embrace love. I encourage all of you to do the same. Peace and love to you all.

Namaste.