Life thoughts at an approaching birthday
This Monday, Oct. 19th is my 38th birthday, so I thought I take this opportunity to reflect on my life so far. I’ve always had a gift for creative writing and imagination ever since I was a child. Like many boys growing up in the 80’s and 90’s I had various action figures. From Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, to Power Rangers, to various DC and Marvel characters (just to name a few), whom I’d bring together to fight and/or stop whatever villain I’d pick at random from committing whatever villainous scheme I’d come up with at the moment. I also had various Godzilla action figures which I’d make fight various dinosaur toys as well as destroy my Lego cities. I even had Star Wars and Star Trek starship toys which I’d make have various space battles. Little did I realize that these simple acts of childhood play would pave the way for my writing.
As I grew from child to adult, most of those old heroes and adventure stories gradually morphed into my fiction universe of which Mystical Force is but a part of (you didn’t think Mystical Force was the only series I created did you?) Thus I spent many years planning out various series, characters, story arcs and building a whole constructed universe for myself. I suppose it was in part a means for me to escape reality. I was never the popular kid is school as was often the target of bullying. I remember coming home from school upset by this, only for my mother to tell me “That’s life get used to it!” Thus teaching me that people are like the common cold, you try to avoid them but you can’t so you deal with them as best as you can in the hopes that sooner or later they’ll go away. I guess that’s why I had such an active imagination even to this day, it was better than the real world and real people.
The reason it took me so long to actually get off my butt and actually publish my work was simply fear. Fear of rejection, fear of being the object of scorn and hatred by those who were offended by my work. Let’s be honest here, in today’s age we’ve become so politicized, so divided, so overly sensitive, so intolerant and quick to judge that anytime someone says or does something that might possibly be even slightly offensive, we’re quick to turn online to complain and demand its cancellation. As I mention in Volume 2 of Mystical Force (which I’m currently working on) We claim to value freedom of speech, yet whenever someone says something we don’t agree with, we’re only to quick to try to silence said individual for the crime of expressing an opinion we don’t agree with.
It was this fear that held me back for many years, making me keep my opinions and ideas to myself, in the hope that I would be left alone. For many years I held firm to this mentality which eventually led to depression and anger. It was during this time that I turned to meditation to help try and calm myself and learn to let go of negative thoughts and feelings (and I’ve made much progress in this, though I still have a long way to go). I was also during this time that I read a book my father bought called Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch (which is a great book to read, if you haven’t already read it, I strongly recommend it). God, through this book, mentions that life begins outside your comfort zone and that the purpose we’re here, alive on this earth, is to create and experience our own reality. God also mentions that nothing happens by coincidence. After realizing this, it reaffirmed to me what I often thought, that writing Mystical Force was my “soul mission”, the reason I came into existence. It also happened to coincide with various real world events that have transpired around the same time: the killing of George Floyd and Black Lives Matter protests, Trump’s politicizing and diving of America as well as the rest of the world (indirectly) and the Coronavirus pandemic (which people have also been politicizing). One could even make the argument that “everything fell into place” and that the timing was just right for my book to come out.
Please don’t misinterpret my meaning, I’m not trying to imply that the above mentioned events were a good thing, or that they happened just for my benefit, I’m simply saying that the themes of prejudice, intolerance, self-righteousness (not simply limited to religion) which are explored in my book have become more prevalent in the past few years. While such problems have existed since the dawn of humanity, it’s only recently that they seemed to have reached a boiling point in our society. I didn’t write this book to specifically reference these events, or to capitalize on them just because I thought it would help sell my book. I had begun writing it and Tellwell was in the process of publishing it when the above mentioned events happened, thus making my book’s message all the more poignant.
If you take anything away from this, it’s as mentioned above, “life begins at the end of your comfort zone” and “don’t let fear hold you back”! Because as Conversations with God points out, there is no devil and hell is a concept we create ourselves. As Buddhism also mentions, our thoughts determine our reality. So if you give into fear, anger and negativity, you’re already living in a hell of your creation. I’ve spent many years living in a hell of my own creation, I’ve finally had enough and decided to create my own heaven. I urge all of you to live your dreams, to do what makes you happy and not let fear hold you back. Ask yourself this question:
“What do I have to gain by giving in to fear?”
For as Conversations with God states:
“All human actions are motivated at their deepest level by two emotions–fear or love. In truth there are only two emotions–only two words in the language of the soul…. Fear wraps our bodies in clothing, love allows us to stand naked…. Fear holds close, love holds dear. Fear grasps, love lets go. Fear rankles, love soothes. Fear attacks, love amends.”
I’ve spent enough of my life giving into fear, I choose now to embrace love. I encourage all of you to do the same. Peace and love to you all.
Namaste.