Feelings are the language of the soul

Yesterday I used the money from my mutual funds to pay off my credit card bills in full. I had around $6000 in credit card debt. Naturally as a result, when I looked at my monthly budget I had a deficit. After this the usual fears came back about “How can I continue my writing?” “Will I be forced to give up my dreams? Stop publishing Mystical Force and Liberator: The People’s Guard simply because I can’t afford it?” As always whenever these problems arise, I turn to my angels for guidance and to release my fears. As I was lying on my bed meditating, I felt something strange. It almost felt like a presence in my room (even though no one else was there), though even this isn’t entirely accurate. I apologize for not being able to describe it better, the truth is I honestly don’t know how to describe what I felt. I suppose it’s like trying to describe what a near death experience feels like. Try to explain it to someone who’s never had one, and they probably won’t be able to understand because they have no frame of reference to compare it to. And if you have had one, then you already know what it’s like so no explanation is necessary.

Having recently read “Godtalk” by Neale Donald Walsch, it mentioned his words from his first book “Conversations with God”, which stated that God speaks to us through feelings because “feelings are the language of the soul”. After I was finished and I went down to the kitchen to get a bite to eat, I began recalling the stories contributed by various people in “Godtalk” about their own experiences/encounters with God, their angels or whatever divine/higher power you believe in. I didn’t so much recall a specific story from the book, it was more an overall impression of the various stories combined. Stories of people who had traumatic experiences in their lives (going through cancer, losing a loved one to some illness and so on) and it dawned on me. These people have gone through much worse than I have. I’ve never had cancer (and I hope to keep it that way). I’ve never been in such dire financial straights that I’ve been forced to live homeless on the street, begging for food or even just enough money to buy some fries at McDonalds and have that be my meal for the day. While I have lost loved ones in my life (pets, my grandparents, a cousin younger than me) even those have never left me so distraught that I began to lose faith or think God turned his back on me. And yet, despite such traumatic experiences that befell others, things turned around for them.

As this dawned on me, I realized that my problems were nothing compared to what happen to some of the people in “Godtalk”. It put things into perspective and made me realize that my fears and concerns were for nothing. My angel numbers (according to the website I often visit: Sacred Scribes) have often told me that I’m manifesting material rewards of following my soul mission – my writing, as I one did a hypnotherapy session, and asked my angels “Why am I here?” (as in why did I choose this specific life right now). A voice in my head answered, “To create”. Which is what I’m doing through my writing. The truth is I’ve been very fortunate in my life: I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food in my refrigerator, and I do have a full time warehouse job that allows me to pay room and board to my parents (yes I still live with them since I can’t afford a place of my own, though honestly that whole the kids move out when they turn 18 is more of a North American thing, my parents raised me more European, where it’s not uncommon for multiple generations to still live under the same roof).

The truth is I AM quite blessed in my life and I AM grateful for these things. Once I realized that I suddenly felt much better. My worries were gone, and I felt happier than I’ve felt in the past few days, possibly past few weeks. This just further proves what was said in “Conversations with God”, how God speaks to us through our feelings, which are the language of the soul. Having just read “Godtalk” I’ve begun meditating in silence, no music, no sounds, just lying in my room with only the ambient noise, trying to empty my mind and focus either on my breathing or the black void I see when I close my eyelids. As Neale said in “Godtalk” God speaks to us in the silence between our thoughts. To paraphrase Qui-Gon Jinn’s words to Anakin in Phantom Menace “When you learn to quite your mind, you’ll hear [God] speaking to you.”