Tag: soul mission

How to Succeed When Others Want You to Fail

How to Succeed When Others Want You to Fail

The other night something unusual happened. I was reviewing my manuscript for my latest book (Mystical Force Vol. 3) looking over the notes my editor gave me and making adjustments to the story. My brother approached me, commenting (with obvious disapproval) about two things:

1. that I seemed to be “racing” to get volume 3 out having just finished volume 2; as if I’m in a competition with someone to get the next book out faster.

2. I should take time to rest.

To address the first point, I don’t know who he thinks I’m racing with, I write because I enjoy it, because it’s my passion and I am grateful to the people at Tellwell publishing as they’ve given me the means for which to share my work with others. While many people ask me “How’s your book doing?”, in other words, “How many copies did you sell? How much money have you made off of it?” The answer is, it’s not about the money. I do this because I love it. If I can help inspire someone through my writing, that makes it all worth while. Whether I sell a million copies or only one is irrelevant. I’ve often heard people say “money is the root of all evil” but I disagree. Money is a tool. One that can be put to either beneficial or destructive means. The more money you have, the more you have to give.

To address the second point, when he says I should take some time to relax, what he really means is I should stop doing what I love, my life’s purpose/my soul mission if you will, because he doesn’t approve. He outright told me how it irritates him when I’m talking with the people at Tellwell about my books. A few years ago he wrote his own book which he self published by putting it on Amazon. He then did nothing to promote the book, he even told me how he secretly didn’t want anyone to buy it, and when his book didn’t sell, he angrily removed it complaining about how no one bought it. In other words, he was mad because he got exactly what he wanted. I think that’s the problem with my brother. It’s not the money, it’s the “inspiring others”, or perhaps I should say his problem is letting other people out there know I exist. He has Aspergers and is so anti-social that it seems it’s not enough for him that the world doesn’t even know he exists, but the world must also never know that I exist. Now part of this is due to our parents. My mother was always a pessimistic (arguably even a little paranoid) who was of the attitude that “You can’t win, it’s pointless to even try. Failure is the only option. The whole world is out to get you.” My father, while having a much more positive outlook on life, was a little too overprotective of him. Every time something or someone would upset my brother, my father would always respond with “He has Aspergers”; as in, “He can’t do/understand X.” In other words, my father spend his life making up excuses for my brother not to have to do anything. Unfortunately this resulted in my brother growing up to living at home on disability, making nothing of his life. Due to our mother, he became so fearful of life and other people, he chose to give up his talents and dreams because he’s too afraid to even draw attention to himself from anyone outside myself and our parents. He learned, that when faced with challenge to turn, runaway and hide. Due to our father, he learned that when he runs and hides from opportunity, he doesn’t have to even make up excuses to justify it, dad will do it for him.

This demonstrates the difference between my brother and myself. While I once felt the same way he did, I chose to face my fears and have been working to overcome them. My brother instead chose to completely surrender to them. I say all of this, not to insult or belittle my family (though knowing my brother, he’ so thin skinned that he’ll take this as a personal attack and my mother will simply dig in her heels and double down on her excuses to justify her pessimism) but instead to offer advice to others who’ve had similar family drama. My advice is: do what you love, even if your family doesn’t approve. I know this sounds so contradictory to what we’re often taught but I ask you this, “What is the use in pleasing others if doing so means denying yourself pleasure? What’s the use in making others happy if it only makes you miserable?”

Ask yourself this, “Does this serve me? Is this in my best interest? Does it benefit me?” I can’t answer that on behalf of my brother as he’s not me. He has his own life to live and must deal with whatever consequences result of his actions, or inactions. I can only answer for myself, and my answer is this: Doing what my brother wants and throwing away my dreams and aspirations because it makes him uncomfortable, does not serve me. It is not in my best interest, nor does it benefit me. Forgive me if what I’m about to say sounds cruel or selfish, but if it comes down to a choice between my family and doing what I love, what I’m passionate about, then I’ll choose my passion over my family. We were put here on Earth and given free will so we can make what we want of our lives, not what others expect us to do. Thus I say to you, if others (even your own family) don’t have your best interests at heart, then perhaps it’s best to cut them out of your life. I say this, not out of spite or malice, but for your own mental health and well being. As stated above, “What’s the use in making others happy if it only makes you miserable?” As Jake Ducey said, “I intend to feel good!” I intend to feel great! I intend to keep following my dreams and writing (and I’ve got many more stories to tell) and if my brother cannot accept that, then maintaining a relationship with my brother does not serve me. If he chooses to sabotage my soul mission, then I shall chose to cut him out of my life. Because having him in my life no longer benefits me nor is it in my best interest.

This may cause him to be upset or angry but in the end the only one who can resolve that problem is him. It’s not my place to run his life for him. This is the problem most people have. We want others to run our lives for us. This is why many turn to religion, or vote for certain politicians in elections. Because we don’t want to think for ourselves, we want others to do it for us. We want others to solve our problems for us. Sadly our society enforces this. How many times in your life have you been offered a choice by someone, only for them to be upset when you made the choice they didn’t want you to make. In the end, the only one who knows what’s best for you is yourself. So I say to you, do what feels right! Do what you love! Inspire others by doing so! Namaste.